So a few years ago, I read a really interesting article online. The capturing headline read “If you're still single; it’s your own fault!”
By Miss Dee
This article basically went on to say that if you
find yourself single after the age of 25, you need to examine yourself and find
out what you are doing to sabotage your relationships because if you really wanted
to be married, you would be. So, here comes my bombshell…I kind of agree with
some of the author’s views.
Now as a spirit filled, thirty something, single,
never been married Christian woman, you would think I would be up in arms about
this article. But it made me take a step
back and re-examine not only my past relationships but also my
'almost' relationships.
“Why did those fail and did
I somehow sabotage them?” The simple answer is, they failed because we were not well suited and I
really didn't know myself at that time. The more complicated answer is YES, I
have played a part in unconsciously, and in some cases consciously, sabotaging
my past relationships and also my almost relationships.
I realised that instead of having open and honest conversations
with the person, I tended to pull away and ghost the person but expect them to
understand and be fine with it. And when these relationships eventually ended,
I would say “Well there you go, he never did get me anyway”. It literally took God speaking to me during one of
my quiet times, asking the question “How
does that make you ready to be someone's wife?” I tell you, that question haunted me for months! It
led me onto a self-awareness journey that I am still on. That's led to better relationships
with my family and friends.
It's not easy, admitting that you are a flawed
human being. That as much as we are made perfect in Him, we still need to work
on ourselves. In 1
John 1:8, it
says “If we claim to be without
sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." It further says in James 3:1-8 that we all stumble in many ways. But God's grace
is sufficient in all things…always.