By Alvin Mlambo
December
is a magical month. It seems as though the rest of the year is simply an
11-month long preparation for those 16 days at the tail end of the year. It is
a time when retailers and mass media go on an all-out sensory assault on the
consumer with Christmas carols, Boney M,
decorations and so-called Christmas giveaways. We look forward to getting
together with family, hideously decorated shopping malls, buying ridiculously
expensive gifts and finally telling the Managing Director what we really think
of his mouthy wife while under the influence of the year-end office party
punch. The atmosphere is thick with goodwill and cheer. ‘Tis indeed the season
to be jolly. Like the saying goes here in South Africa “Ke
Dezemba boss”
Apart
from the excessive partying, we also take this time to look to the future. We
look back on our past year and resolve to make lasting and long overdue
changes. We are touched by the plight of the poor and pledge to donate more to
charity in the coming year. We commit to quitting fizzy drinks and pork chops
as we wheeze and pant our way up 3 flights of stairs. We body shame ourselves
and promise to work out more as we swipe through the Instagram Fitspiration
models on our feeds. We commit to furthering our education by enrolling in some
sort of course after our child asks for help with homework and realise we have
no idea what the words in their Grade 4 books mean. For those of us who are
more spiritually inclined, we look forward to the New Year Church service. With
spectacular titles as “Crossover Night”,
“Let Me Pass New Years’ Service” and “Night
of New Beginnings”, we pack stadiums and
conference centres in eager anticipation of the Man or Woman of God’s
declaration for the coming year. We eagerly mark the respective bible verses
with neon lime highlighters and even commit them to heart. And there you have
it. We have compiled our New Years’ Resolutions. We are committed. We are
resolute. We are true. Then why is it that 80% of these resolutions, for most
of the population, are either abandoned or clean forgotten by Valentine’s day?
I have
to admit that I fall squarely into this demographic. I have been making New
Year resolutions every year for the past 20 Years and my success rate is
between 10 and 12 percent. So, this year instead of jumping head first into
committing to new resolutions, I decided to look deeper and find out where this
practice came from and why we participate in it year after year. Little did I
know, I have been engaging in an activity that has some deep origins. According
to History.com,
the early life of the New Years’ Resolutions can be traced back about 4 000
years ago to the Babylonians, citizens of what was then Mesopotamia, who celebrated
the new year in March, which was when the crops were planted. The 12-day
festival, known as Akitu,
was a time for the Babylonians to make promises, such as settling debts and
returning property that wasn’t theirs to its owner. They believed that
maintaining these promises would be rewarded with good fortune in the following
year.
Beginning
around 46 B.C., the Roman emperor Julius Caesar had
moved the first day of the year to January 1. The month of January derives its
name from Janus, the
two-faced god who was believed to look backward into the old year and forwards
into the new. Janus was also said to be the patron
and guardian of changes, time, gates, doors, doorways, endings and beginnings. Like
the Babylonians, the Romans made declarations of good acts to Janus before
the New Year arrived. The Romans though, made resolutions with a principled core,
such as being good and fair to each other. When the Roman Empire took Christianity as its official state religion
sometime in the 4th century, these ethical goals were replaced by prayers and
fasting. Christians chose to celebrate the Feast of the Circumcision on
January 1 instead of participating in some of the New Year activities related
to honouring the pagan god Janus.
However, the idea of moving the New Year from March to January took some time
to catch on. It only stuck when Pope Gregory XIII brought
the January 1 New Year back in 1582, with the Gregorian calendar which we still
use today.
In
what can be seen as an endorsement of the non-drinkers of the 4th century Roman
Christians, in 1775, John
Wesley, the founder of Methodism, created the watch night
services which were also known as Covenant
Renewal Services. As per the Sea
Point Methodist Church Website, these
services were initially held during various times throughout the year. However,
towards the end of John Wesley’s
life, they were held on the Sunday nearest January 1st. This renewal service,
as the name implies, was a time for Methodists to meet in self-examination,
reflection on the year past and renewal of their covenant with God for
the coming year. They were also seen as an alternative to the drunken partying.
The renewal service has seen major changes and conversions over the centuries
but the basic principles of discipleship, living with a Christ like personality
and ongoing improvement still remain important with believers.
Over
the years since, the New Year’s resolution has developed into a secular custom.
We’ve seen a change in resolutions since the Babylonian and ancient Roman times
from doing good to mostly self-improvement. So, given such an interesting history
why do we off-ramp from the main highway of success? Reasons will obviously be
different from person to person and I can only speak for my own experiences. I
have discovered some solutions that may assist in alleviating the problems.
1. Your set goals were vague.
When I set my resolutions, I never took the
time to clarify my goals before committing to them. I would set a Physical
fitness goal such as “Improve my fitness.”, without any measurable criteria
attached to it. The solution to this is to make your goals SMART: Specific,
Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Time based.
2. You are discouraged.
As you pursue your goals, you may not see any
signs of progress. You have set time frames for your achievements but deadlines
come and go without any fruitful progress. This plants seeds of doubt as to
whether your goals are worth all the stress and trouble at all. As all seeds
that are planted in the fertile soils of failure, they germinate and soon you abandon
all hope. However, when you reach this point, instead of giving in, it would be
wiser to re-think your processes. You may be stuck in your old ways, but being
flexible enough to explore new ways and possibilities may prove to be useful.
3. No accountability
In the 1994 book “The Oz Principle”,
Authored by Roger Connors, Tom Smith
and Craig Hickman,
accountability is defined as the “…personal choice to rise above one’s circumstances and
demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results”.
You may not have any form of an accountability system in place that bears
consequences for non-compliance and apathy. The modern world of technology is
awash with apps and software that aid in individuals and groups attain their
goals.
4. Feeling of Being overwhelmed.
Change, the mere mention of the word can make
anyone feel uneasy. After what seems like a lifetime of a particular path, one
may not know where to begin with the change and place themselves under enormous
pressure. Over time the weight of expectation may cause one to drown and feel
as though all the expected change is too much. Before you know it, everything
is dead in the water. These feelings come from the false idea of a “complete
overhaul”. We pressure ourselves into completely changing who we are in the
shortest period of time. The solution to this is make changes in comfortable
bite sized chunks starting from where we are now. Instead of expecting to
transform from a couch potato to an iron man participant in 2 months, you start
by walking around the block each morning.
So,
given the dismal success statistics, why bother with resolutions year after
year? Irish poet, Oscar
Wilde once wrote, “Second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience”
Though he spoke of marriage, the same can be said of resolutions. They’re a
means to measure that which we aspire for our lives. They serve as a way of
taking stock of our personal and professional disappointments. However, I
believe their most important purpose is wipe the slate clean and hope for a
better future. What have been your experiences with new year’s resolutions?