I hold on tight to my pillow, clutching
it tighter to cover my face as tears just roll down my face. I quiz myself…What is this that I feel? A void, an
emptiness, a broken heart? I am letting my children down. Could I have said
more? Done more?
We are parents of three boys, Tyrique, Tyresse
and Kaiden aged 18, 17 and 11 respectively. Seeing them grow from boys into
young men of stature, valour and honour has been a life-affirming journey. As
my husband and I walk through life, we leave footprints in the sand knowing we
have three more walking in the same steps right behind us. As parents and
leaders, we need to be mindful of each other, mindful of our words and actions,
as three little birdies are watching and absorbing everything.
I love the poem by Kahlil Gibran- on Children- You are the bows from which your
children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the
path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go
swift and far.
We are the archers of our children’s
lives and our aim is higher than ourselves. The target is ultimate excellence
in thoughts, words, actions and the pursuit of perfection of God’s
will. For God alone is perfect.
There is no greater feeling than seeing
the success of our children. Being overcomers, strong and mighty full as they
go into the world. We will walk to the ends of this earth to ensure their
well-being, hearts desires and longings are met. I love what my husband says to
the boys: “Don’t be me, be greater than me! Don’t ever let anyone say to you,
you can’t, for you were born great men.”
In the same vein, I am overwhelmed as I reflect
on how much The Father loves us. I felt compelled to pen a letter to my
sons:
I held you as babies,
natured and gave you sustenance the best I knew how. I instructed you in the ways
of the Lord, which I was learning. Learning together with all my imperfections.
I taught you the magic words – Please,
Excuse me and Thank you. I taught you to pray, always pray and keep praying. I
taught you respect, to give, and to be a blessing to others. Seeing you smile with
hearts full of love and being grateful with a thousand kisses. When you
rejoiced in simple seemingly meaningless gifts and simple acts of kindness that
filled our lives with priceless moments. I want to put you in a treasure box
and only take you out when I want to give you love, bathe and feed you. I want
to shield you from any hurt, protect you from any harm or fear. I have watched
you fall and get up again, rising above all odds. Being responsible, making
wrong decisions and at the end of it all, I am so proud of you all.
Sons, as your
parent, I may not be always right and I can only speak from my own experiences
which I still experience each day, but I have wisdom. Don’t ever underestimate
our intuition and always remember the wise words of John 17:16, “They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.”
Desires of the flesh, anything the hand can touch, the eyes can see and ears that can hear- in the world, are only temporally. Yes, I would love to give you fancy cars, fat bank accounts, and designer clothes but what will this mean to you? From the day of your birth up until today, you have been set apart. You shine with God’s splendour and grace. Do you know who you are? Do you know whose son you are? The hardest part is trying to keep it all together, but by God’s grace, I got this. It is difficult, to remain focused on the many aspects of all the roles I juggle. I have made many sacrifices just to see you to this point in your lives. Sacrifices I will gladly continue to make, so you can continue to prosper and be all you can be. I wake up each morning, sometimes riddled with pain from the previous day, just for you to want for nothing. Not once have I ever complained. I am strongest when I look at you three. As your mum, I will move heaven and earth.
Soon I must let you
walk your journeys, the path is clear. Even though I was the vessel you came
into this world through, you are not from me. You are from the Father, the Alpha and the Omega the
living word. He moulded you, His spirit is in you, you are His
masterpieces! I believe in you, I love you, I honour who you are and thank God for allowing me to be your parent.